September 8, 2010...8:00 am

What I was thinking about last night while I brushed my teeth before bed:

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  • What does it say about me that I cried hysterically through the last fifteen minutes of The Time Traveler’s Wife on one of those movie channels I don’t know why we have but it never has anything good on it anyway? It wasn’t even a particularly great move but its ending was soul ripping. When the time traveler knows when he’s going to die, his wife has the chance to say goodbye and then watches him die. My weep-fest was almost as bad as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button when the love of his life mothers him into his elderly toddler and babyhood. My mama heart could not watch her rocking a dying baby who just happened to be the man she loved. Why did I cry with hiccups during the end of both of these movies? I’ve seen a lot of movie deaths but rarely like these. Is there something to the idea of a woman caring for her man in his death? Do I have an aversion to the idea because of more than the general sadness of death? Chris reminded me that I hate it when he’s sick but I have no problem with his caring for me when I am. Do I have some need to be cared for by my husband but distaste for his being weak? Does this deserve more thought, more commentary about the nature of women or do I just really like my husband?
  • I’m really sad for my friend whose boyfriend broke up with her last week. She’s in love with him. He was wonderful. She was ready for a life with him. I hate this for her and I wish there was a way to speed up the grief process for her sake. I wish I had the words she deserves to hear.
  • How can I feed my toddler’s budding love for cooking? (The kid said to me yesterday: I help? I love cooking! When I announced it was time to make dinner. He helps with every meal. Even peeling eggs and stirring cereal at breakfast.) The problem is that he throws a massive tantrum every time the food has to cook, especially when it goes in the oven. Is there a secret way to teach patience without having to go through the process of his emotional breakdowns?

That’s it. I was only brushing my teeth for three and a half minutes. I only had time for three thoughts…


  • If it makes you feel better, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button also makes me sob. I have no idea why, either. I generally like sad and/or violent movies (I am watching The Godfather II while on hold with Ikea right now) and not movies like The Notebook (though I understand why other people do). Benjamin Button is on Netflix streaming now…maybe you didn’t want to know that. I think it’s the helplessness that makes me sad. Despite what any character in that movie wants and is able to do-they cannot be together. But I also find it very tender. Okay that is the nicest comment I have ever posted…back to Godfather II. xocaq

  • I sobbed when I READ The Time Traveler’s Wife. I rarely cry while reading…but it was too much. Too, too much. I have the movie saved on my TiVo but I am avoiding watching it.

    So wonderful that August loves cooking! (I was kindly assisted in unloading the dishwasher last night. So helpful!) I don’t know how to avoid the oven breakdowns, but maybe wave bye-bye to whatever dish is going into it? Turn on the oven light so he can see it inside?

  • Just wanted to say thanks for sharing all three teeth-brushing thoughts but the third one in particular.

    I’m pregnant and feeling anxious about our sonogram next week to find out the sex of our baby. With some shame, I confess I have a slight (and irrational and selfish) fear of having boy. I grew up with all girls, and the thought of raising a boy overwhelms and baffles me.

    I love to cook, and I confess treasuring the idea of cooking with my daughter and grieving over the fear that a son would reject helping in the kitchen. I know there’s little predicting what interests either a girl or a boy will want to pursue, but the fact that your son likes to tinker in the kitchen with you is an encouragement to me at this stage of the game. Thanks for sharing.

  • It’s so interesting that he cries for when the food has to cook. Is it that he doesn’t understand that part of the activity? Or feels his toy is being taken away? I don’t know if you can teach patience except through modeling it… Maybe you can distract him! Perhaps you can give him a cooking related task for while the food cooks? Like setting the table? Making a special appetizer for dad — like setting a few crackers with cheese on a plate? When he’s a little older there are lots of cookbooks for kids. I had one when I was little & LOVED it. Just bought two for my sister’s daughter.

    Oh - my sister set up her daughter with a task that was both doable & safe - cutting mushrooms with a little plastic knife. Thought I’d mention it for the next time you need mushrooms for a meal…

  • cooking IS a lesson for life in many ways… so no, there are no shortcuts past the tantrums…. :)

    when my kids were about 5 we started letting them do dinner once a month.. they chose the menu and did the cooking. we ate lots of pigs in a blanket and soup (not canned, homemade). we occasionally had inedible meals. everyone (even parents) had to eat some of it no matter what it tasted like. that is when my kids learned to appreciate the effort other people put into meal preparation and to act nice even when the food is horrible.

    for bb wooten…. i grew up with all girls and had no clue about boys.. when my son was born i called the doctor several times because things he did seemed so violent to me. what i learned is that 95% of little boys do things that seem violent to people who don’t know about boys. that being said…. my son is now all grown up. is a loving and tender young man who is well loved even by senior adult women… he has had to teach his wife many things about cooking… enjoy!

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